Main Contents
May 20, 2009
The recklessness comes along without a lot of thinking to define fate,
because They do not respect the plasticity of time.
Though sins rip your hands, opening to the many sides of me,
options sharpen blades with the recklessness and a lot of thoughts.
Since you got me, the muse has visited me many times as demons have too.
I don’t impress my thoughts for you because they are thoughts of the moment, in time and should stay.
Most times you are not beside me, so lost, in the hope that time will coincide.
Thanks to Willow for the translation corrections!
Filed under: General |
Comments (0)
April 18, 2009
The past two months I had a really hard time. I escaped from a situation and a relationship where I was trapped. I was looking to the Light the past 5 years without success. Maybe I wasn’t ready or I didn’t want it enough. I don’t really care about why. Now it is done and I am here.
Practically I passed from the “Grand Awakening”. I can’t explain what exactly this is because I don’t know how or you won’t understand the way I will explain it. The fact is that I destroyed my self and build it again from the scratch. This is how it should be done. The “building” couldn’t handle any “fixes”.
I passed a period of less than one months where I was completely frozen and I couldn’t feel anything. I threw away all the people that used to love me and I was left with myself. I was feeling like I was teared apart and that’s what actually happened. I couldn’t stop this and I didn’t wanted to. Finally I found the real love and those people that really love me without expecting anything for me.
Now I can feel only Love, Light and the power to serve and guard. I can’t feel pain and hate. I feel some sorrow mostly because I left so many things behind and some bad actions I did are included.
I realized that one of the ways to reach the light, is to step the bottom. The true power here is when you step the bottom, instantly, have the power to jump back to the surface.
I know that some past posts are depressed or something like that. I am not depressed. I am having the true love and happiness. Things are hard, but I don’t give up. Not because I am ego (there is no “myself” anymore. I killed him) but because I know exactly what to do and until now I am proven right. I will continue my walk into the new world of Light and I won’t let anything to make me loose this.
Personally, I am broke, I don’t have any money to pay any bill, my love is away from me (for her reasons, she should I guess) I don’t have contact with my parents or any friends. Why should I be sad or depressed? I have learned that you must respect what you have and I have a lot of things to make me feel good. Time is needed and I can give time but I won’t just sit and see the moments fade away. I have my own plan which I can’t reveal because I don’t know it. But I know that every move of me is part of this plan which is saved in the back of my head and will only bring light and love. I don’t know if I can save my soul anymore. But I don’t care. I won’t destroy my self for such a doubt. I will continue the fight for the light till the end.
Best regards,
Nekys Nemia Soportus
Filed under: General |
Comments (0)
April 7, 2009
I will start with common stuff. On Sunday, RaidFight reached 947 players online. From that number 170 was offline shops. Pretty nice number!
Now to other stuff. True love is eternal and the call is clear. Sometimes you can’t hear it but it is there. I want to post some lyrics from the greek dark band Diafana Krina (Διάφανα Κρίνα) which roll in my head the last 1 month and I believe they was written for this…
ΣΤΟ ΠΛΑΪ ΣΟΥ
Κορόνα γράμματα ποντάρουμε το θάνατό μας, την ίδια κλίση παίρνουμε φλερτάροντας γκρεμούς
κι όταν δε θα ‘χουμε πια τίποτα δικό μας, ο έρωτας θα μας τσακίσει και θα μας κάνει αληθινούς.
Θα μ’ αγαπάς, θα μ’ αγαπάς - μα δε θα φτάνει
άγονη βροχή θα πέφτει πάνω μου το χάδι σου
και εγώ σαν γέρικο σκυλί μες το λιμάνι, θα πεθαίνω στο πλάι σου.
In english:
BY YOUR SIDE
Heads or tails focus our death, the same slope we get as flirting with cliffs
and when we’ve no longer something ours, love will crash us and make us real.
You will love me, you will love me - but won’t be enough
arid rain will fall on me your caress
and like a old dog at the port, I will die by your side.
Filed under: General |
Comments (0)
March 31, 2009
There are moments that things are stuck and you can’t do anything. The worst thing you can do is… keep doing nothing! I feel like this lately or at least I felt. My life is stuck and the only thing I can do is to wait for a change. I don’t want to wait. I hate waiting! Its not that I am not patient person but I don’t like to be passive. My life is MINE and I should direct it wherever I want and don’t just watch the time pass away my window. So right now I have a plan. I know what to do. First I need to do anything. I mean anything that will take me out of this condition. It doesn’t matter if I like it or not or will get hurt. The only thing that matters is to do something.
I found the something and now I realise that all begins now. Remember that the only thing you should not do is nothing.
Kisses and have love.
Filed under: General |
Comments (0)
March 30, 2009
Recently I opened RaidArise. It is a retail-like x10 rates server. This server is not going to replace RaidFight. RaidFight is my diamond. It is not replaceable. Some low-minded are spreading rumors that I will close RaidFight. I won’t. RaidArise is not “mine”. I just provide some of my knowledge and RaidFight’s code. The reason I promote RaidArise as mine is that I am well known of the quality my servers do have so works more like an advertisement. So RaidArise is promoted as mine as a marketing trick.
Now about my previous post you don’t have to worry. I am not in “bad mood”. I just wanted to express m feelings in some way. I don’t plan to suicide or something similar. I am fine. I just miss Her.
I will close again with a poem
“Σε άφησα”
Θα σε προσμένω τρεκλίζοντας στην άβυσσο να βρεις απάγιο στη ρακένδυτη καρδιά μου
φως να ποτίσει τον παράδεισο, σα μύρα που ζάλισαν την αδύναμη θωριά μου
Χιλιάδες όνειρα, σταγόνες σε καθήλωσαν, ποτάμι έγιναν και παρέσυραν τη σκόνη
σπείραν λήθη σε εκείνους που σε πεθύμησαν, ύστερα άνθισαν και απόμειναν μονάχοι
Μακριά μου στάθηκε η θάλασσα και κάθε αστέρι που το άρωμα του σε θυμίζει
ο’τι με χώρισε από εσένα που αγάπησα ήσαν μια ώαση που κανείς μια δεν αναγνωρίζει
Νύχτα σα κίνησα τη σκιά μου αποχωρήσθηκα. Πες πως πια έμεινε μια σαπρή ρωγμή μου
κάθε λίγο σαν έκλεινε την άνοιγα για να κουρνιάζει εκεί καθέ νέα απειλή μου
“Let”
I look forward to meet you walking by the abyss to find settler in my ragged heart
light watering the paradise as perfumes bedevilment my weak existence
Thousands of dreams, a pin drops, and river were induce dust
spiral into oblivion in those who missed you, flourished and then left alone
Away from me was the sea and stars, the scent reminiscent of you
whereas a split from you I loved, was a oasis which no one recognize anymore
Night as I opened, the shade I left. Say that now has become a putrid crack of me
every while was closing a little I opened it, to perch there any new threat
Filed under: General |
Comments (0)
March 30, 2009
I don’t really know why I leave this message.
I really feel very bad this period. I did many mistakes in the past and damn it I can’t change what I did. I hurt some people esspecially a woman because I prefered to crawl into my hole instead of facing the reality when I should. The worst part is that this is my turn. Now I get hurt and punished for the pain I spread. I will be reasonable: I didn’t got a chances to fix what I did and show that I have changed but do I deserve a second chance? I guess that those who judge me now by the side of the victim don’t believe that I do and only their word matters. All I know is that I prefered to have a “good life” than to be with the person I love and without love all are meaningless and pointless. Right now I really feel very bad. Development and my server was always my little selter. I was working to something that was giving and still does, joy and fun time to a big range of people. This is making me feel good. This is the only think I know to do. Making and managing a server. But this cold thing is giving joy to them and a meaning to me. I don’t plan to close my server or something. This is not a goodbye message. I just want to express my feelings. Some people don’t understand me. Some of them thing that I do have that server because I am a no-lifer, rich to have “power” or make money by secret donations. I make 450 euro per month and I hold a server that costs arround 240 euro per month. But this thing is giving to me joy because it gives joy to people. I don’t want to complain to the people that critisize me as Admin. They should have some reason to say what they say but I am not their enemy. Enemy is only our ego. We create the enemies in a desparate attempt to blame others for our mistakes or give meaning to our miserable lifes. Yes I am a no-lifer. I don’t have life. I just work, eat, make shit and sometimes have some creativity explosions. I used and I still do write poetry for Her. This is the only door I left open. I know I speak a lot about her in this post but it doesn’t matter anymore. All I know is that I will continue to be with her thought in my heart and try to feel the warm of her eyes. Just to remember, you whoever read this long post: It doesn’t matter what you think it makes you feel good. There is only one cure for all. Love. Keep having love in your life and life will be good. Don’t sacrifise love for something that looks more precious. Nothing is more precious than love because love is limitless. There is no little or lot of love.
The past one month I was taken out of the darkness other’s choosed for me and I thought they was right. I can’t feel my ego anymore. I can’t feel hate for anyone even those who hurt me in the past and now. I can’t be hurt because I don’t exist and I don’t belong anywhere. Now I am closed to the Light than ever. I feel more complete existence and the only thing is missing is a way to show my love. I could be something else, cashier on a bank, cooker or taxi driver. But I am here where I am and my right moves and my big mistakes took my steps where I am now.
This is not a depressed post or a desperate attempt to change the minds of those I hurt because they don’t know the existence of this blog and won’t read it ever. I just wanted to write some meaningless crap. I just carry a lot of shit inside me and if I explode you all will be covered with those shit.
I will close with a poem (yes in Greek) I wrote sometime ago. Sorry for those who don’t speak Greek (although I don’t think that Greeks have something to learn from this blog, they know everything anyway!) but they don’t loose anything precious.
Have love.
Spyridon Paris Skordilis “Nekys”
Μέσα στην γη κάπου έχω θάψει τα όνειρα μου, όσα κατάφερα και γλίτωσα από το πάγο
αλλά δεν άντεξα να σώσω την καρδιά μου από το χαλάζι και τις θύελλες του θέρρους
κι όμως, δεν έχασες την αξία σου με τα χρόνια να συντηρείς ένα μυαλό που σαπίζει
να κρατάς ζεστή μια καρδιά που αντέχει με την φλόγα της, τον χρόνο να λυγίζει
κατάλαβα όμως ότι με αδίκησα, χρόνια τώρα ανελέητα, να πεθαίνω σε κάθε μου δάκρυ
η ψυχή μου πότισε με κάτι που περιφρονούσα και έχασε κάθε λογική της θλίψης
δεν χώρεσε στην αγκαλιά μου όμως, να σφίξω ότι λάτρευα και δεν με χωρούσε
δεν ήταν όνειρο σε στιγμές ατελείωτου πόθου σε αποτοξίνωση από την ηθική και τα κουρέλια
όσα δεν πρόλαβα και κράτησα στα χέρια ήταν ουλές, που έσκασαν στην θλίψη
όταν χαλάρωσε ο πόθος μου για εσένα άχνισε η καρδιά μου στο παγωμένο σώμα μου
όμως δεν άντεξα και πούλησα τον χρόνο που κυλιόμουνα σε διαφανή λιβάδια
κι έκανα όνειρα με σφραγιστά τα μάτια και κάποιοι άσχετοι τα έλεγαν αναμνήσεις
ο λόγος που στέρεψαν τα μάτια μου, δεν ξέρω, ίσως να ήταν η περισσή αγάπη
μα σίγουρα δεν ήταν άσκοπη η απάτη που έστησε η φωνή σου σε έναν εύπιστο
μα ότι μένει πια για να προσφέρω είναι το σώμα μου που άρχισε να μυρίζει
ένα φθινόπωρο που ξέρει να γελάει
In English:
In the land somewhere I bury my dreams and what I was fleeing the ice
but not weather to save my heart from hail and storms of summer
and yet not lost the value of your time to maintain a mind decay
to keep a warm heart to withstand the flame that could bend the time
But understand that Prospero, mercilessly years now, to die in my every tear
watering my soul with something little and lost all sense of sorrow
not fit in my lap, however, that loved to shake and do not fit
was not a dream at times endless lust in detoxification of the moral and rags
what had not and was kept in the hands of scars, which escaped the grief
when I loosened the thinking for you sizzle my heart in my body frozen
tonight will not be unfairly stars to lie down alone
or would dare to erase the coldest your form from the turbid glass
But I start to find that really hurts looking as sad life hottest look that I feel
melting soon weakened by the tears that you lose the salty taste
But I understand with so much cigarette lungs pushing me to forget to breathe only your aura
certainly did not exceed a depth of your soul But what I was worn with a lie! …
but resisted and sold the time rolling into transparent meadow
I did dream by sealing my eyes and some outside they called it memories
why dry my eyes, I do not know, perhaps it was the great love
But certainly it was unnecessary fraud set up your voice in a credulousness
But that remains now is to give my body that started to smell
an autumn that knows how to laugh
Filed under: General |
Comments (0)
March 27, 2009
These are the htm and SQL file to make Core NPC Buffer to have all CH Buffs plus a “Restore” button to restore HP/MP/CP to maximum. All htm is with Buttons and looks very nice.
http://nekys.com/files/npcbuffer.7z
Filed under: General |
Comments (2)
March 23, 2009
I have two databases on the same database server for extra security. This script will check for accounts on ‘accounts’ database that are empty on the ‘l2jdp’ database.
‘accounts’ database is loginserver database.
‘l2jdb’ database is gameserver database.
This is the script:
DELETE FROM accounts.accounts WHERE NOT EXISTS (SELECT account_name FROM l2jdb.characters WHERE login = account_name) ORDER BY accounts.login;
For server with just one database, things are simpler:
DELETE FROM accounts WHERE NOT EXISTS (SELECT account_name FROM characters WHERE login = account_name) ORDER BY login;
Hope it is useful for you. Was a lot for me. I had 18.000 accounts and after this I had 11.000 accounts!
Filed under: General |
Comments (0)
March 19, 2009
From “http://wiki.mysqltuner.com/MySQLTuner”:
MySQLTuner is a script written in Perl that will assist you with your MySQL configuration and make recommendations for increased performance and stability. Within seconds, it will display statistics about your MySQL installation and the areas where it can be improved.
It’s key to remember that MySQLTuner is a script which can assist you with your server, but it is not the solution to a badly performing MySQL server. The best performance gains come from a thorough review of the queries sent to the server, and an evaluation of the MySQL server itself. A qualified developer in your application’s programming or scripting language should be able to work with a MySQL database administrator to find improvements for your server. Once the server and application are optimized well, you may need to consider hardware upgrades to the physical server itself.
Note that I use this tool the last months on any application I use that needs a MySQL database. And it helped a lot! I used it on my L2J servers and my Webservers.
More information: http://wiki.mysqltuner.com/MySQLTuner
This tool is a “must” for any sysadmin or l2j server admin!
Filed under: Linux |
Comments (0)
January 23, 2009
I wrote this backup script. It is simple. Connects to a FTP server and transfers the folder you choosed. You cna combine it with the MySQL backup script I have posted in the past. I won’t explain how cronjob works, look to previous posts…
#!/bin/sh
# Local Backup Folder #
BACKUP=”/root/backup”
# FTP Server Info #
FTPU=”username”
FTPP=”pass”
FTPS=”hostname”
NCFTP=”$(which ncftpput)”
# Transfer files in the local BACKUP directory to the FTP server #
ncftp -u”$FTPU” -p”$FTPP” $FTPS<<EOF
lcd $BACKUP
mput *
quit
Have fun!
Filed under: Linux |
Comments (2)
